“The purpose of life is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experience.”
~ Eleanor Roosevelt
I woke up Saturday morning, still stewing over a heated debate I’d had with my partner earlier in the week.
I don’t recall my parents really ever arguing much. But my situation brought to mind a certain family holiday “getaway”. I remember my brother was playing video games, and I think my Dad was busy in the garage. My Mom was not up for the status quo weekend. She wanted to go somewhere! I remember wanting to do something too, so Mom gathered everyone together and started throwing out suggestions. After a bunch of hemming and hawing, Mom ended up in tears. Dad finally got us all together in the car. And we spent a miserable day driving to somewhere that I can’t even recall … Mom upset, my Dad stone cold silent, my brother just wanting to be back to his video games, and me wanting to be anywhere but in the oppressive air filling the car.
What stopped mom from just taking the car, and going and doing whatever it was that her heart desired?
As I think back upon that weekend, I realize that my mother never took time for herself. My dad had an annual golf outing with friends, but I don’t recall my mom ever doing anything just for herself. She had Wednesday night ladies league bowling, but that was about it. In that, I believe grew a certain level of co-dependency, or a lack of personal autonomy. Even to this day, it’s rare that she ventures out on her own. Maybe to get her hair cut, but more often than not, my dad usually has to accompany her even to the grocery store.
As I sat there on Saturday morning, with absolutely nothing of importance on my calendar, I began thinking about a post I made last year on middle age and bucket lists. And that after age 53, most people have reached the peak of their creative endeavors, and that our decision making abilities begin to decline. That post was inspired by my partner saying that come age 68, when our mortgage will be paid off, he has no intention of being here on St. Thomas managing a villa. When does one start living one’s bucket list?
My post on bucket lists inspired another blogger from my writing circle. It spring-boarded a story he entitled “Not a Bucket List”. Instead, Hawkeye Pete had developed somewhat of a “Fuck-It” list.
You can read Hawkeye Pete’s story here on Cowbird.com …
http://cowbird.com/story/93586/Middle_Age
As I sat there stewing on Saturday morning, I decided to say Fuck It!
I tossed together an overnight bag with a swimsuit, a yoga outfit, and a change of shirt. And I got in my car, drove to the car ferry, and headed to Cinnamon Bay Campground, our National Park of the Virgin Islands on St. John. I got a nice little hut, and spent a highly relaxing weekend under the trees, right on the beach, rejuvenating and grounding myself. I came back refreshed, ready to meet the challenges that lie ahead.
Almost everything wonderful and exciting in my life has come as a result of throwing caution to the wind, and saying “Fuck It! What do I have to lose??”
Napoleon Hill says that indecision is the seedling to fear. Indecision crystallizes into doubt; the two blend and become fear.
And he lists out what he calls the six ghosts of fear that we all suffer from at one time or another; which paralyze us from making decisions and living our life to the fullest:
- The fear of poverty
- The fear of criticism
- The fear of ill health
- The fear of loss of love of someone
- The fear of old age
- The fear of death
What I love about the “Fuck It List” versus the “Bucket List” is that it allows us to spontaneously accept opportunities as they arise, without some big ta do. Fuck It overcomes the six ghosts of fear in a heartbeat.
Fears are nothing more than states of mind. And our state of mind is subject to our control and direction.
So the next time you find yourself in indecision, hemming and hawing, I hope you’ll remember this story. And just say Fuck It !!
I promise you won’t be disappointed in your decision …
❤❤
