“The very purpose of religion is to control yourself, not to criticize others. Rather, we must criticize ourselves. How much am I doing about my anger? About my attachment, about my hatred, about my pride, my jealousy? These are the things which we must check in daily life.”
~ The Dalai Lama
Another enjoyable morning here in St. Thomas, with bright skies, and just the right amount of haze in the air to naturally filter the rising sun. The full moon last night was just as stunning.
Having worked in retail, and dealing with alot of people, I am a firm believer that humans and animals get a little wonky during the full moon. We get filled with lots of energy, and sometimes that energy just spills out. And last PM, this culminated in a bit of a disagreement with my boyfriend. While I was not angry, I was a bit taken aback.
And it gave me reason to contemplate the Buddha’s teachings on “The Three Unwholesome Roots” or “The Three Poisons”. Buddha stated that the main impediments to enlightenment – finding peace within – are Greed, Aversion and Delusion. Or quite simply, Greed, Anger and Ignorance.
But as un-enlightened individuals, we are bound to feel angry from time to time. It is said that even the most highly realized masters admit they still experience this undesirable emotion. It is said to be the hardest of the three poisons to overcome.
Jack Kornfield notes: In deep self-acceptance grows a compassionate understanding. As one Zen master said when I asked if he ever gets angry, ‘Of course I get angry, but then a few minutes later I say to myself, ‘What’s the use of this,’ and I let it go.’
So here is what we can do when we feel ourselves becoming angry ….
1. Admit that we are angry!
Buddhism teaches mindfulness. Being mindful of ourselves is part of that. When an unpleasant emotion or thought arises, do not suppress it, run away from it, or deny it. Instead, observe it and fully acknowledge it. Being deeply honest with yourself about yourself is essential to following the teachings of the Buddha.
2. Understand what is making us angry.
Most of the time, anger is self-defensive. It arises from unresolved fears or when our ego-buttons are pushed. It is a construct of the mind, therefor not real, a ghost. Really, only I can make myself angry.
3. Know that Anger is self-indulgent.
Our practice is to cultivate metta, a loving kindness toward all beings that is free of selfish attachment. We must also take care not to hang on to our anger and give it a place to live and grow.
4. Let it Go …!
Pema Chodron notes: “If you have a meditation practice, this is the time to put it to work. Sit still with the heat and tension of anger. Quiet the internal chatter of other-blame and self-blame. Acknowledge the anger and enter into it entirely. Embrace your anger with patience and compassion for all beings, including yourself.”
5. And don’t continue to feed it …!
It’s hard not to act, to remain still and silent while our emotions are screaming at us. Anger fills us with edgy energy and makes us want to do something. Thich Nhat Hanh notes: “When you express your anger, either verbally or with physical violence, you are feeding the seed of anger, and it becomes stronger in you.” Only understanding and compassion can neutralize anger.
6. Be Courageous and Compassionate.
Sometimes we confuse aggression with strength and non-action with weakness. Buddhism teaches that just the opposite is true.
The Buddha said …
“Conquer anger by non-anger. Conquer evil by good. Conquer miserliness by liberality. Conquer a liar by truthfulness.”
So if someone ruffles your feathers today, or any day, you have this teaching to come back to.
As do I. Until the day that I become enlightened (wink), I am bound to get angry from time to time. But my meditation has taught me drop that hot coal pretty quickly now ♥
Source: http://buddhism.about.com/od/basicbuddhistteachings/a/anger.htm
